I was in Hospital again today, this is the big appointment with Dr Hashme my NHS Oncologist, I know we touched on this in the previous blog. However, in case you didn’t read it, the readers digest version is:-
- Saw my NHS oncologist.
- Main tumour in my bowel now significantly reduced in size.
- Mets in my lungs, 2 out of 3 barely there, 1 still there.
- Main Tumour hasn’t grown beyond the walls of the bowel.
- It may be time for surgery on the main tumour.
We were waiting on the weekly meeting of departments (The MDT or Multi-disciplinary team) to discuss it all through. Well, that’s now gone ahead, he brought me in to talk me through the next steps.
As of about 14:30 today, I am no longer on chemotherapy. Dr Hashme has referred me through to Paul O’Loughlin. He is basically the best in the North of England for colorectal cancer surgery. Mr Hashme believes that the main tumour in my bowel is now resectable. Paul agrees and thus, my referral.
What we were told from the start was that if they couldn’t get it all at once then surgery was off the cards. So that must mean they are confident that they can get the lot.
I then discussed it through with Kerry and Dr Hashme, did it make sense finishing the current treatment program of chemotherapy first etc?
We then spent the next 10 minutes discussing that, no… not really was the outcome. We kind of need to keep Chemotherapy for the end, you know… if it comes back, when it comes back it will come back angry. We may still need chemo after the operations as I will eventually become immune to the chemotherapy.
I’ll obviously update everyone when I get my appointment date. I have a million and one questions for Mr O’Loughlin, mainly around the long term, is it likely that I will need a permanent stoma. What are the worries here? Infection, operation goes wrong etc.
How am I feeling?
Still in shock really, processing the information. I swear I have forgotten more than I care to admit.
I broke down after he told me. Couldn’t hold it in. Thought my voice was just doing a bit of a wobble. I Just cannot keep my emotions in check of recent.
I think it’s got Kerry to the point of full on rolling her eyes out the back of her head.
Please remember, when you are the partner of someone with Cancer, you are 100% living through cancer with them. They get to make all the sick jokes that I do 🙂
The stoma thing is going to be the next thing keeping me up at night. I truly can’t stop thinking about it. There’s nothing like a sex-drive killer than chemotherapy, but howay… A stoma? Uch!!!
Although I said it in the previous blogs. The bad news is so much easier to process. It’s an ‘Oh well’, ‘How do we progress from here’ thing. However with big news that’s positive, you spend the whole time looking for the bad aspects and not taking in the good news at all.
Actually, while I am on it, taking information in:
This is something I have been really struggling with. I understand that it must be as frustrating to people around me as it is to me. I know some may even think I am being rude and doing it on purpose but I assure you, I am not. You may be even annoyed because you’re repeating stuff to me over and over again.
It IS something in the medication that I am on causing this issue, I may be suffering badly from my 40’s but I was never this bad.
I don’t know which medication it is causing the issue but it’s one of them.
It’s not like being unable to remember something either. It’s like you never took it in in the first place.
How to describe this…
You know when someone reminds you of something? They start telling you and then it all comes flooding back?
Yeah, well this isn’t it. Some times when I am being sharply reminded of something, it’s like hearing it for the very first time. I still feel like I am not doing this justice.
What can I ask? Just be patient. If you have to tell me that you’ve already told me before fine. Do so, but I get as frustrated as you do when I don’t remember things. Please remember that. I am not some doddery ol’ codger just yet. It’s the drugs.
Actually, I just said to a mate, “I’ll write that into the blog”. Something I have found to help me in getting stuff to stick in my mind. If I am honest, the whole blogging thing I have found to be quite cathartic.
Anyways, back to the good news thing.
I just deleted all of the entries for Chemotherapy out of my calendar and do you know what? It was quite liberating.
Not having to have the next SIX chemo sessions. Euphoric doesn’t even cover it.
Here’s another thought for you… My port.
I won’t be using it once a fortnight like I currently am, it needs to be flushed once a month regardless of use or not. That’s fine, I can handle that but really, we will be looking at a few months of operations and recovery time. However, if it’s unused, it’s going to have to come out. I can always have another one fitted if I have to go back on chemotherapy.
To be honest, if they can use it during my operations. Bonus!
Other stuff, well I recently saw Kerry’s long time Newbury Bestie Leigh-Anne turn 30, she requested daft and she got it… In abundance.
We went to Psycho-Path with, Kerry, Jamie and Leigh-Anne, the walk alone nearly killed me. It wasn’t too far and thankfully there were no hills but there was trip hazard EVERYWHERE and I did have to ask to stop a couple times as I was just tired from the walking.
I really enjoyed it if you don’t take it too seriously. If you like jump-scare then it’s for you. If you’re not frightened by this sort of thing (KERRY) then you’ll just laugh your arse off at the people that are affected by jump-scares. I will say they got me good a couple of times.
One guy did try and take it a bit too far. Wanted us to kneel in the mud. *Not happening mate*
I have my brother coming to stay this weekend, I’ve not seen his ugly face for a good year or so, and Mum and Dad are over from Crete for a couple weeks too. I couldn’t be happier right now.
I guess I should now update the Cancer story bit on the site.
Mood: Spirits are high.
Pain: Negligible pain 2/10
Appetite: I ate fine today. No issues.
Weight: 200 lbs 90 KG 14 St