Hi again,
I am now chemo + 3 days and starting to come out of the coma a little. My brain straightening out and concentration returning. I feel a lot better than I did a fortnight ago coming out of session 1 so I will take that as a win.
I’ve been able to eat substantially better this session and I think I have put it down to preventative medicine more than anything. Fiona one of my chemo-nurses recommended me take my anti-sickness and nausea meds regardless of my feeling in the morning.
I really do think that not giving the acid-reflux and the nausea by mid morning does encourage me to want to eat.
I know my limits, I know I just eat until I am full, it doesn’t matter if that’s a plateful of food or a few bites. I’m not entirely in control of this right now, so I’m happy to play it by ear.
About 2 or 3 days ago, I ran my hand through my hair as you do. I noticed it.
I ran to the bathroom mirror and did it again.
Oh great! Already?
I’m not ready to share yet. It’s so patchy, for some reason or another, my scalp is sore too. Therefore, after a quick discussion with Kerry and a reddit WWYD (What would you do) post on /r/cancer. We all agreed it would probably be best in the long run to take it all off.
Now, for most, you’ll know that I completely shaved my head last time. Like, zero guard, or #0 whatever you call it. I think in the last 40 years of life, the closest I have ever had my hair was a #3 guard on the sides and back.
I can’t do that again, I really don’t like me with a completely shaved head, I hate it. I hate how white and ill it makes me look. I look like I have cancer ffs.
I mean, I know I do! I have baseball caps for if I need to go out. I have bandanas for if it’s too hot for a hat.
Kerry and I settled for shaving my hair down to a #2 guard and the funny thing about losing your hair on chemo is that it’s not even.
Not even in the slightest. I have these weird shapes on my scalp where I have lost hair and others where it’s just as thick as the back.
If I rub my hands over my head, I can literally make my hair snow onto the ground. My pillow looks like it’s covered in glitter, but howay, I haven’t had all brown hair since I was 17 when the greys came for me.
As I say, I am not ready to share a photo or go outside yet (Not that I am allowed anyways tyvm COVID-19)
It really has got me down though. Yes, I am aware it grew back once, therefore there’s a good chance it’ll grow back again. It’s just, I like having hair you know? I always used to. This 42 year old rocker likes to punk his hair up for parties and pubs when I ever go out of the house, although I will admit, in recent years not so much. But still…
So last session, although I didn’t go on to blog about it, I actually suffered another kidney stone.
I know, I know… I’m like the most ‘unlucky’ guy in the world right? I have had a total of 5 kidney stones in my life now, ranging back to 12 years ago when I had the monumental one while working for BT that saw be hospitalised for a few weeks and operated on for its removal, to one that kept me up all night 5 years ago and was gone in the morning resulting in me being a bit late for work the next day.
Well, this one was firmly and in-between these two. It totaled about 3 days of consecutive pain being stuck in my kidney and ureter.
Lucky for me I do have Tramadol and Oral-Morphine in the house for pain. These are more than likely the drugs I would be given should I attend hospital. However I now know that the best thing to do with a kidney stone is wait it out. Yes, if it gets too bad I know to go to A&E. I’ll get an X-ray and depending if its required transferred to a renal ward.
We weren’t anywhere near that, so I curled in a ball on the couch, hot water bottle on the pain area. Tramadol and morphine usually makes me pass out. I woke up and the pain had gone away for that evening, I had pain throughout the day but not debilitating, however in the evening it was back to the pain I had experienced the first night.
As I say, this went on for a total of 3 nights, then it dropped into my bladder. If you’ve never experienced this, you know it’s a godsend as the pain is nearly done. Then it’s going to float around in your bladder till it gets into the right position for you to expel the little demon from your body.
Just drink a lot.
So that was all in all about finally done with I think the day or day before Chemo. Not a great load of respite from chemotherapy.
It got me run down, I’ll tell ya that for nothing too. I got a bloody coldsore too.
Ha! Honestly. I haven’t had one in like 10 years either.
My weight is down a few KG since starting chemotherapy again, some of it hair, some of it welcomed too. I’m honestly only down about 3-4 KG. I am not concerned, I am eating and I am making sure I am keeping an eye on it.
I guess my mood is suffering most of all. I haven’t been enjoying TV, If and when I have had the chance to play a video game, it hasn’t been for long. Kind of flashy lights and motion sickness feeling if I am honest.
Kerry has recommended that we go for a drive in the car. Just get some sun on my skin (Yes I will wear sun cream) and we drive out into the country and get me some fresh air away from everyone that could affect/infect me. So I would like to do that over the next week.
We received an update from Ocado, our chosen supermarket saying that we were back on the priority list again. This means that we don’t have to use things like Deliveroo CO-OP or Deliveroo Marks and Spencers or rely on our local Tesco Express and get only what they say we can get.
If might not seem much and as convenient as they are delivering to your door within literally an hour of ordering. It’s going to be nice to get what we really want delivered.
Still, know my limits, no point in ordering a whole load of food we won’t eat and let it go off in the fridge.
Well,
That’s about all I have for this week’s blog. I’m okay you know? I’m trying to keep my mood up. I should be taking delivery of my new computer this week. Tomorrow earliest, Wednesday latest. That’s put a smile on my face.
Hope you’re all well,
-Cam
An honest blog about a guy's journey through cancer and chemotherapy 