Port Installed 1% Cyborg

I went back to one of my fav haunts today, Not!

Yeah I went to the Q.E. Hospital today to have my port installed.
For those of you with a nervous disposition or are squeamish in any way, you’re probably not going to want to see the photos coming. You were warned.

I now get to wear a bracelet informing EMT’s etc that I have the port installed.

The premise of this port is that chemotherapy requires a lot of canulas.

Canulas repeatedly in the same places are going to destroy my veins. It has to be a vein as it’s got to go via the heart to every extremity of the body.

The port is connected to the jugular vein on the right side of my neck. It has a special diaphragm on the outside that takes a specific kind of needle and can be repeatedly used for years. I don’t have to be poked and prodded every. damn. time.
Plus, since I was a kid I developed a bit of needle phobia. I was fine when I was super young, then I had my appendix removed and I’ve been like it ever since. I’d be fine to help with someone else, just not any medical procedure on myself.

So 10:00 this morning, I go to the P.I.U Unit in the Q.E. in Gateshead. I finally get to meet ‘Dr Frank’ He is absolutely 100% the character I was warned he would be. Covered in tattoos, Irish as they come (Norn-Iron), slightly batshit crazy, but a lovely guy, knew already to call me Cam made sure anyone calling me Cameron got corrected. *I like this guy already. He then ran me through the procedure again and explained, don’t bath or shower tonight but you’re going to be a bit battered and bruised tonight. Take some of your oramorph and you should be fine. (Oh go on then 🙂 )
You don’t have to be awake for this procedure because it can be done via local. However my experience of local anesthesia isn’t that good. I always seem to feel the pain. Sadly, yes that included today.
I sign my life away and they take me into the room.

So basically, it starts with the incision in my neck and I was to say if I could feel it, sadly I could and they gave me a bit more of the local but I pretty much felt the whole procedure. I know that I was numbed for this and I am thankful but it isn’t really something I would want to experience again in a hurry. Gladly, lest this get infected. I shouldn’t have to.
Then the second incision is made in the chest. The port installed and connected and then hidden under the skin in a little ‘Pocket’ I guess you’d call it that they create.

Then it leaves you looking like this:- (Be warned, naked Cam in the image)

Incisions in my neck and chest.

My 5 O’Clock shadow sucks, I had shaved not 30 minutes before this procedure. (Yes you cunny funts, I missed the bit under my lip har har har)
So basically, yeah! That’s about the size of it. The dark blue bruised bit right at the top of the scar is roughly where the needles insert/connect/go and I don’t need a cannula again. Get… The fuck In!

If you’re a lady, because of bras and I am more than sure boob flesh too. Can have the port installed on the back. I am not sure I would want it there as I would roll onto it in the night and feel it and yeah… No thanks, I got to decide where to have it installed. Frank and I talked about it. I climb, I don’t wear a full harness or anything but I do carry my Osprey Talon backpack with me every day, everywhere I go. It’s got all of my drugs in it. All my medical records the works. so we discussed where I wear it and where the straps are. He then completely moved where he was going to put the port to where it wouldn’t get annoyed by my back pack. Now that’s service!

When in pain, a lot of people react in different ways, some cry out, some people stay silent. Sadly, I get fits of hysterical laughter. It’s what happens, I can’t control it. The nurses all thought it was hilarious but serious at the same time. Frank is sewing me back together, even using super glue on the main part of the would that will open a little later. All I could think about is Dr Frank doing a bit of cross stitch on me and I just burst into laughter. Frank has to stop at one point because he’s laughing too.

Anyways, it’s over now. I can run, jump, swim and do anything I want to now with this port installed. Things are looking up.

Today also comes with a bit of a reminder. 10 years ago today me and my mates lost our friend Peter ‘Duff’ Duffy to cancer. He was 31 years old.

The Man, The legend Pete(r) ‘Duff’ Duffy

You’re gone, but you’ll never be forgotten. I know we weren’t really seeing eye to eye towards the end. I know some of the decisions we make in life we may learn to regret. My only regret was not completely burying the hatchet before it was too late. I love you and miss you every day.

Pain Today: Cancer = 3-4/10 Port Pain = 6 or 7/10
Mood Today: Bruised and Battered. Sad due to the anniversary of Pete’s leaving us.
Appetite Today: Good, it’s been good for 3 days solid now.
Weight: 191lbs / 86 KG – That’s right kids, I put a solid 1lbs on.

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