Concentrat… Oooh shiny!

Well as the title may allude, I am having concentration issues.

I’ve noticed this and therefore it makes sense to tell everyone that I am. I did say I would open up about these things. So yeah. How is this affecting me? I can’t seem to zone into a full film. Kerry decided it was about time to watch Fight Club. Who’s going to say no to a film like that? Well sadly, I managed to make it up to about the start of ‘Project Mayhem’ and I noticed I couldn’t remember the last 10 minutes of the film. Out comes the phone and boom. There it goes…

My mates are playing the card game version of Monopoly the other night, I doubt I could take all the rules in at once and bottled playing the game. They all seemed to have fun (sadly, I think I actually fell asleep).

That’s another thing while I am rambling! Sleep. Has anyone got any tips here? I can’t remember the last time I had a full night of the bugger!
The most I can manage at the moment is about 4-5 hours. I seem to wake up out of habit at about 02:00 and I can usually get back to sleep but not till about 04:00-05:00, so I have been getting up, watching some TV or some YouTube and then I go and try again. It’s a fools errand to actually try and sleep. When I do get to go back to sleep, usually I am good till 08:00-09:00 the following morning so I guess this is my life now.

I have this appointment on Tuesday looming over my head. I know it’s a meet and greet with the people at the Oncology department at my hospital. Apparently you get free parking at this juncture in the treatment. Which is nice because it’s all adding up you know; appointment here, there and everywhere. No wonder people have disabled badges (must look into that),
I have the feeling that it will be the day they install the dreaded PICC Line into me. For those of you who don’t know (or how to use a hyperlink) It’s basically a hardline IV tap into me – it’s an alternative to me having a cannula installed every time I have treatment, and utterly ruining my veins in my arms and hands. I have my treatment plan now. I will be in hospital twice a week every other week until 10th of January 2020. I just checked and yep… Christmas day included. Yay! 😥

I know it’s for my benefit, but I hate Hate HATE! needles at the best of times so I know it makes sense. It’s just something that I am not looking forward to. Once they do fit the PICC line, other than it’s dressing needing to be changed and it being flushed once a week, it’s all good for pumping chemotherapy drugs into me. I’m still worried it’s gonna knack when they install it, I know they say they use local anesthetic but it’s still gonna hurt a bit I bet!
I can’t actually believe I am worried more about the damn PICC line than I am about the following day’s treatment, being that it’s my first day of chemotherapy!

What else has been happening then….

I applied to the Care Oncology Clinic in London to privately pay for some complementary treatment, and be a part of their ongoing clinical trials. This is not available as part of my health insurance as it does not cover experimental treatment.

The proposed protocol is to provide me with Metformin / Atorvastatin / Mebendazole / Doxycycline / Flarin. There are thousands of people taking these drugs every day for their original and intended uses – they are cheap, well tolerated, thoroughly tested, and low in side effects – I will be taking these drugs in a repurposed and off-label fashion. There is a ton of information and research regarding Metformin and cancer, and statins and cancer already.

Oh, and I got my new glasses today too. I’m chuffed to bits with them. I can’t actually believe how much I needed them. It’s not for anything mid or long ranged. It’s the close up stuff, like all the cracks and ridges in your dog’s nose. Pores on skin and fingerprints! All clear as day. Kerry got to have her smug moment. I can’t deny her this, she’s been saying it for a couple of years now. I was being a stubborn ass about it.

Kerry right now.

I’ve updated the Cam’s cancer story with the new treatment information and I guess I’m still okay. The pain has been absolutely killer for the last 3 days. It seems to have sorted itself out today or my body decided to gift me some respite. Whatever, I am just glad to be dealing with the pain and feeling like a human for a couple of days sans morphine.


Pain Today: 4-5/10 I felt controlled today
Mood Today: Active and social
Appetite Today: No eating issues today. Ate a flapjack and a pizza for dinner.
Weight: 200 lbs / 90 KG (Still keeping an eye on this)

2 thoughts on “Concentrat… Oooh shiny!”

  1. Hey man,
    It’s so good to be able to take part in this journey with this, I hope you keep it going throughout, even during the “darkest” days.

    Do you think it could be nerves that are keeping you awake at night? Your brain going “aaaargh! I’ve got this massive thing coming up” and not turning off?

    The clinical trial sounds like a good idea, shame it’s not included in your medical insurance. Honestly, be glad for the NHS. Over here I dread to think how much it would be! Especially given the distances that could be traveled to see a specialist, given most of them are probably over East.

    Hopefully the winter isn’t too bad otherwise getting to your treatment when it’s icy and snowy/slushy will be horrible…


  2. Hi Chris,
    It’s the least I can do for everyone is to blog this. Like you said, you’re all coming on the journey with me and I guess that gives me strength.

    I do think that my lack of sleep is my brain… 100% It’s the thoughts of what’s to come that I lay awake thinking of the most.

    Yeah, I think the one thing that makes me glad to live in the UK compared to other countries in the world. Our NHS. Albeit what will be left of it after our politicians ruin it for everyone. The trial stuff and elective care are things that just make sense. Then not being funded is just another thing that you learn when you get something like cancer.

    It’s all about Money Chris. Can they make money from this drug? No…. but it saves lives! I said No! but… It works! Yeah well we’re not a charity and we need to make money.


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