Well I’ve been holding out on telling everyone just as much as saying it out loud (or typing it) actually makes it real. I’m just going to come out and say it.
I’m really not well at all.
I’ve been doing so well. I guess by that I mean getting better and healing up but truly I haven’t.
I’ve been kidding myself that upping my medication was going to work.
The pain clinic I go too, they ask me to rate my pain on a level of 1-10 1 being the lowest. I sit at a constant 4-6/10 but when it flares up it’ll go all the way to 7. Anything above 7 is crippling. I have experienced 10/10 3 times now. All 3 of them sent me into hospital with Kidney stones.
Well, touch wood I’ll not have another soon. I do however know from my Urologist the illusive Mr Paez I have more on the way. It’s the utter sword of Damocles. It’s utter shite I tell you. I know there’s another coming and I can’t do a bloody thing about it. I do hope that they’ll be able to smash it up and I can pee it out as crumbs. They haven’t been successful in doing that on me for all of the other stones.
Ah well I digress. Back to the massive pile of chemicals I have to take every day just to make me ‘normal’. Now my medication as it stands:-
* 1 x 15mg Lansoprazole (My Gastro-Resistant to put a lining on my stomach wall
* 2 x 500mg Naproxen (My anti-inflammatory)
* 9 x 300mg Gabapentin
(This is the one that is supposed to change my perception of pain)
* 8 x 500mg Paracetamol
(Aaaah the topper upper of pain meds)
* 8 x 50mg Tramadol Now this has been raised to 3 x 50mg when the pain is bad
It’s a ridiculous amount of medicine to be on. It’d cost me 8 x £7.40 some £54 a month. I guess I won’t be paying for them soon (I will explain in another blog coming soon) but thankfully I can pay £29 for 3 months of prescriptions. It’s just ridiculous.
I can’t remember anything anymore (Gabapentin side effect) I constantly mood swing and rage because of the fucking tramadol. I don’t want to eat anymore and when and if I do I gorge on food again… A tramadol side-effect. Oh now I am using Lansoprazole for heartburn caused by the Naproxen, I had to switch to Naproxen as the last drug Diclofenac I’d been on for a year and slowly it’s been eating the inside of my stomach.
So much heartburn I can’t even begin to describe. It’s shite it’s utter shite.
I’m so sick of being sick. I want to be normal again. I want to walk more than 100m without being crippled the next day. I want to be able to do anything physical at all. I worry what my poor better half is going through. She has her own troubles and she’d be far better off without me. Thankfully though, she truly must love me as she’s sticking around
Too Ill to work. Need to work to pay the mortgage. I’m fucked… catch 22
Well… that’s my blog/rant over really.
Thanks for reading it and I hope I didn’t bore you too badly.